Let’s Hear it for the Boys: What’s a Groom to Do?

Let’s Hear it for the Boys: What’s a Groom to Do?

What is the groom’s role at a wedding? The answer will vary depending on the particulars of your big day. If you find yourself pondering a groom’s responsibility, we will take a look here at traditional and nontraditional groom duties.

groom at wedding

Traditional Groom Responsibilities

You are likely familiar with our society’s conventional groom responsibilities. Those tasks can include selecting and purchasing the engagement ring, choosing his wedding party, their attire, and their thank-you gifts. Groom jobs can also involve getting his new spouse a gift and planning the honeymoon.

Rehearsal dinners are also usually the groom’s responsibility in a traditional wedding. This undertaking is often a big help to the bride and her family. There is still more that grooms can handle, however.

The list of traditional groom duties the Emily Post Institute provides sets the bar relatively low. They include roles like standing next to his spouse in the receiving line and handing the officiant a check. The Emily Post Institute also helpfully includes dancing with their spouse during the first dance as a groom’s responsibility.

The 21st Century Groom 

Our culture throws around the term “emotional labor” a lot these days. Emotional labor can refer to the psychological or mental burden of logistical planning. Many women especially can feel the pressure of emotional labor when it comes to wedding planning. 

Considering the historically few wedding tasks a groom took on (or was expected to take on), this is not surprising. Grooms can help their spouse-to-be by taking on a few functions that many might traditionally consider the bride’s purview. 

Guest List

Grooms can do so much more than provide a list from their mothers of which family friends to invite. A groom can volunteer to track down missing RSVPs. He can do the seating chart on his own, or work with his fiance(e) to for the perfect arrangement.

Audition the DJ or Musicians

The groom can handle DJ responsibilities by coming up with a shortlist of entertainment options. He can then audition them himself, or set up the auditions/meetings so he can attend with his fiance(e).

If his intended wants music responsibilities off their plate completely, grooms should still consider asking for input ahead of time. That way, he can come armed and prepared for auditions or meetings with prospective wedding entertainment. 

Knowing their spouse-to-be’s preferences will help prevent disappointment at the ceremony or reception. Play songs your fiance(e) wants to hear and avoid the ones they absolutely do not want to hear. Get the dance floor lighting they prefer.

groom and groomsmen

Consider Dance Lessons

A groom can sweep his future spouse off their feet (literally) with dance lessons. Ask your fiance(e) how they feel about taking dance lessons together. If they’re enthusiastic, grooms can offer to handle finding and signing up for lessons.

Husbands-to-be might also consider taking dance lessons on their own to prepare a wedding-day surprise. If you’re searching for that viral Internet moment, maybe get the wedding party involved!

Help With Catering

If the way to a man’s heart is really through his stomach, it’s surprising catering isn’t traditionally the groom’s domain. An overwhelmed fiance(e) might appreciate a groom who offers to take catering off their plate (pun intended). Perhaps grooms could offer to find and hire the caterer, and arrange the logistics for the big day.

If their fiance(e) would prefer to handle catering themselves, or together, grooms should be open to that. Perhaps a groom offering to handle just the cocktail hour hors-d’oeuvres would be a welcome gesture.

Caterer duty is a job with perks, since you may get to taste-test the proposed menu items!

For some food ideas, check out our guide to food bars here


When it comes to wedding planning, transportation is not the first thing people think of. Getting the wedding party and various family members to and from various locations is probably one of the least-glamorous parts. This is why grooms taking over transportation can be a big emotional labor-reducer.

Transportation coordinator is a great groom’s role at a wedding for someone who loves systems, processes, and problem-solving. This job is especially great for a groom who meets this description who otherwise does not enjoy wedding planning.

The Groom’s Role At a Wedding Is Whatever the Couple Decides It Is

Of course, much of the content on the groom’s role at a wedding assumes a traditional marriage dynamic. A lot of standard wedding advice applies to most weddings: set a date, a budget, a guest list, etc. There are other aspects where couples are left to find their own way.

Consider that a lot of our society’s wedding culture historically does not include same-sex couples.

These facts can be discouraging or disappointing, but they can be freeing at the same time. You can develop wedding traditions or features that are totally unique to you as a couple. If there’s a book, movie, or band you want to incorporate into your ceremony or reception, go for it.

When a bride isn’t interested in the flowers, theme, or decor, the groom may want to handle it. Maybe there’s an expectation that the groom give a speech, but that’s not his thing. It’s up to the couple whose day it is.

Older relatives might be confused or disapproving, but ultimately, the wedding is your celebration. Couples should feel free to carve out their own roles within the wedding planning process.

groom at wedding

Let Adagio Djay Entertainment Help 

However you decide to divide responsibilities when planning your wedding, let Adagio Djay Entertainment work with you. We can help whether the groom’s role at a wedding includes auditioning entertainment, engaging dance lessons, or arranging mood lighting. Adagio Djay Entertainment offers ceremony packages, and services such as customized invitations and videography.

If you want your wedding to be a truly unique, memorable celebration, or simply want more information, contact us. You can also check availability if you’ve already set a date. Adagio Djay Entertainment is ready to collaborate with couples to give them the wedding they envision.

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